The last 2 weeks of my life I've felt the sexiest I've ever felt. I want sex, all the time. I mean all the time.
I've been with a lot of men for my age (41), but most were when I was much younger. From 16 to 18 I slept with about 30 guys (one per month). I went to a preppy private high school with lots of horny and wealthy Catholics. We had only a few things to do. Drugs (not my thing), sex (fun but didn't do much for me) or study. Studying came easy, so I had a lot of time on my hands.
I'm not happy about being this horny. My girlfriends don't talk sex at all, but from what I can gather, they're all mostly fine with just laying there while their boyfriends or husbands finish. Like it's a job.
I don't want that job. I've been fantasizing repeatedly about having things done to me that I never fantasized before. I ache on the inside. It's affecting my sleep.
Nothing satisfies me, not eating or shopping or masturbating. I need to be filled by a man but I won't cheat again on my boyfriend who I love so much. What do I do? Where do I turn?
I thought about seeing if my boyfriend really wants to do a threesome with another woman. I always said no, but now I might be willing. He always wants to do me in the rear (never had it) but I think about it constantly when I am alone. I doubt it would be that good. I want him to finish on my face and my body, something that normally disgusts me. I want to be with him and another guy, but he'd never do that. I want to touch another woman (I did it once in high school and was bored) and have her touch me.
I'm embarassed at these thoughts, but writing them makes me want them more and more.
Well, seems like you have the perfect spot to do it. This is what this space is for. To let it all out. To tell things you wouldn't normally say.
ReplyDeleteIt does but I am still embarrassed by these thoughts and the things I want to write. I write a new blog post and then delete it before I publish it because I read it and it isn't me. I have to stop doing that!!
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