Ladies Night Friday Night

Last night I decided to meet up with some girlfriends, old ones and even a new one.Even though I am new to blogging I have already made 2 friends and decided to invite them both out for a little ladies night. One friend is another blogger I've been reading all week and commenting at, and the other one might be considered my enemy in that we are both trying to attract the same man's attention, even though we both have boyfriends. I will call the blogging friend Cindy and the competitor Liz.

I also invited 3 of my girlfriends out that I usually hang out with. We agreed to meet at a bar I go to regularly in downtown Chicago at 9. Liz and I also invited the man that has made us both frustrated, angry and letdown, but he ended up deciding to do his own thing with his guy friends. It was like a battle of the sexes, miles apart from each other. Liz made it to the bar first and I drove with 2 of my girlfriends (Susie and Martina). We were all dressed up and ready to dance if we decided to leave the sports bar and go to a club.

I recognized Liz right away and she recognized me. We both hugged and then laughed at the same time. I think she was thinking the same thing I was (I can kill this girl right now if I wanted to). I had butterflies because the common man's description of her was wrong. She isn't just pretty she's unbelievably beautiful. I am dark skinned and tall and lanky, she is light skinned and short and feminine. Her dress looked great, and I asked her if it was the same dress she wore when her and her boyfriend decided to hang out with the guy she cheated with a few weeks ago. It was.

She grabbed my arm and we talked. She asked if I had seen HIM lately and I said no, but that we've been talking over text messages and sometimes over the phone late at night. She said she was jealous, that he didn't call her ever. I admitted he didn't call me either and that I called him. She laughed at me and said she didn't think of that and would try it. I became extremely jealous inside, knowing that I would be hurt if she found a way to get his attention again. It is funny to think that two beautiful women in a bar, both with gorgeous boyfriends (she showed me his picture on her phone) are competing against a man who is not our type and not interested in us as anything other than a friend.

My other friends showed up and introductions were made. Susie wanted to know how I know Liz, and she said through a mutual friend. They know all my friends so I added "from work." No one knows I write this blog and I want to keep it that way. We all started with a round of Jaeger shots and then beers. Liz's thin waist made me think she drank diet cola and rum, not beer. I'm jealous of her for sure. I asked her where her boyfriend was (he is out of town) and she asked about mine. Paulo, my boyfriend of 7 years, was gone for 5 days. He works for a not-for-profit but he is also a model for a very large department store catalog doing men's suits. He's beautiful, and a few times a year he goes on a photo shoot. This left me alone this weekend, but her as well.

She asked me if I was going to meet our mutual crush this weekend, and I said he turned me down. She said she was planning on seeing if he wanted to go shopping tomorrow on Saturday, and again my stomach turned. I have a man and I am jealous of a woman's desire for a man I don't even know. It's crazy.

I should say here that I've called him 3 times in 2 weeks. The first time I called, it was only to talk and to try to get more information out of him. I was surprised when he actually talked about himself, which he never does. His voice is so soft and sexy and deep, and I needed some action so I took care of myself while he talked about his family and friends. I tried to hold my mouth closed when I finished but I didn't do a good job, and he knew. He asked me what I did and I told him. He asked if I needed help with it, and I said I am embarassed about it, but he changed his attitude and started saying things over the phone I needed to hear. I started playing my own fiddle again, and his voice caressed my entire body over the phone. He told me to be more vocal and I did since Paulo wasn't staying at my place. I finished again in just minutes.

After I was done I asked if he wanted to take care of himself but he said no. I couldn't believe it. I don't do phone sex because it's boring. Why bother when you can get the real sex? But he wouldn't give it to me. I told him on the first phone call that he could come over. He refused. The second phone call I called just for this reason. Again I finished strong, and he refused to do anything himself. He also refused to come over. Third call, same thing. It is making me crazy. I am glad that Liz didn't call him yet because I want that voice and that understanding for me.

So the four of us start griping about our boyfriends. All us girls have serious guys, and we're all having problems in the bedroom. Susie's boyfriend was making huge dollars as a mortgage broker last year but lost his job and went through all his little savings. He's losing his condo and already lost his car. She wants to dump him but feels it would peg her as a gold digger. Martina i beautiful and has a fiance but she's cheating on him with a guy we all know. She said the sex is terrible with both, but at least she has sex with her side guy. Her fiance is stressed all the time, yells, goes out and drinks and comes home and sleeps. She said he can't get erections anymore and he's only 26. It's sad and it's scary!

Liz's boyfriend looks and acts like a big brother type. He's handsome and sounds fun but he hasn't had much experience and isn't good at learning things. Liz admitted to me when my friends went to get another round of drinks that she fantasizes about our mutual crush when she is with her guy. I told her I did to. I didn't tell her that when I do, I get so wet that it helps Paulo finish much faster. 5 minutes instead of 10 minutes and he thinks it's because of him. I feel bad but not guilty. I told Liz that neither of us has a chance, and she agreed. We agreed to try to figure out how to convince our boyfriends to be better lovers. Who knows if you can at this age!

We laugh about it, and then she asks me some very personal questions about the one night stand that I had.

Would I do it again?
I'm planning on it.
Was he really the best?
He was far and away.
Did I find him attractive when I first met him?
Not on the outside but something moved me.
Is he a guy I could date?
No. I'm superficial and it's a problem.
What did I think about what he wrote about a new girl on his blog?
I hate her so much.
Will I ever tell Paulo?
No.
Will I tell anyone else?
Only when they find my diary when I'm 80!
Would I consider tempting him with both of us?
...

That last question threw me off completely. Since my night of passion in November I have had fantasies I've never had before. I write in my diary ideas I never thought of before. I go to a porn search engine and look for new things to try I'd never considered before. I've been with a girl once when I was a teenager and it was boring. We laughed all the time and neither of us got off or even tried to get off. It was just kissing and touching and laughing.

But now I think I would. I got very nervous looking at Liz. She's pretty and has a body I find very attractive. I know she reads this now so I am really red faced admitting it. Yes, yes I would try to trick the guy into sleeping with me again by tempting him with two women. He said he's done it before, but I don't know enough about him to know if that would turn him on. But I'm more nervous and excited. Would I have to touch her? Would she touch me? How would we all fit? Do you change condoms between women?

He wrote about his two greatest fantasies with women he sleeps with: finishing on their face and taking pictures of it. He doesn't ever ask, some girls just ask him to do it. How they know to do this doesn't make sense to me? It sounds so gross but when I watch the porn videos (amateurs usually) it looks like a lot of girls like it. I think about it all the time with him, but never with Paulo. If Paulo asked I'd punch him in the stomach and go home. Would this man finish on both of us and take a photo of us together if we asked?

It's so hard for me to write this because this is NOT ME. Not a single bone in my body wants this sort of stuff but I think about it all day and all night. Liz admitted she thinks about it constantly to. She said something important, maybe we like him because it is obvious he doesn't want us. Guys want me. I hear it all the time from them. Liz said the same that she gets hit on everywhere she goes. This man of ours didn't do that to either of us. He's nothing special to look at and he just took us somewhere new.

Liz saw my embarassment and held my hand and said I shouldn't be embarassed. She'd never done anything like that either. She knew. I shook off my fears and my head and laughed and said we're both insane. We're at a bar where every guy is looking at us and our group. Men have come up already to talk, attractive men, strong and tall and beautiful. We all shot them down. We have boyfriends. It is nice to see them ogling us. And yet we both want the same guy who doesn't ogle us and doesn't tell us we're hot or pretty or sexy. It makes us both crazy and insane and not ourselves.

Liz still saw my nervousness and changed the topic. We decided to text message him and see if he wanted to come out. My friend Susie took a camera phone photo of me and her looking hot, and we sent it to him. He replied: You guys match, did you plan it? He didn't decline or accept our invitation to the bar. As we got drunker we sent another message from her phone that invited him to come to my place after he's done and we could both be there to hang out. His reply I'm going to bed early, sorry. He didn't say maybe another time. We both got angry at him and then laughed. It's like high school but worse. This man is Satan, tempting us without us understanding how or why.

My friends were wondering why Liz and I were so chummy. We both explained that we had a common enemy, but left it at that. We laughed and my friends were looking confused.

As it got closer to 2am, people started leaving. My friend Susie asked for a ride. Liz said she would cab it home but I offered her a ride. She hugged me and said either we'll both get over it or we'll both find a way to get back to where we want to be. I almost cried because I pray that I can stop thinking about that night in November. I pray that I can stop being so jealous. I also pray that maybe he will take me up on my offer to bring another woman to bed to satisfy him and only him.

If that happens, I will want blood. I don't want to read his blog anymore because he's passing up the best thing he can have. I would let him do things to me other women scoff at. Things even I scoff at when asked. I would beg him to do these things to me. I need them from him to feel like a woman who is threatened and pleasured by a man.

I don't know what will happen, but today I hope I don't think about it anymore. The boyfriend is gone, and I have laundry to do and groceries to get. Maybe that will help put my mind on reality.